Part 12 - I am Melvin

Post taken from personal blog as this happened on my actual msn account, you'll find out why later

-----


Wow 500th post, and damn, this is going to be a good one.

I was on msn just now when someone added me, before I could ask who it was the person asked me if I was a Melvin... who wanted cybersex. The convo that followed next is sexually explict and no way would I have had the balls to do it if I didn't have cw goading me on, LAWL.

Beware people, but it's still awesome.

By the way it was a female, unless it's a gay guy or something.
-----
sexy, let's make love says:

hi.. melvin here?

sexy, let's make love says:

is this melvin? my fren said u wanted a sexchat n webcam sessn..

me

what the flying fuck/

me

wrong person

sexy, let's make love says:

ok

sexy, let's make love says:

sorry

sexy, let's make love says:

youre melwong2303?

sexy, let's make love says:

oh fuck.. rong additn..

me

2*03

sexy, let's make love says:

ok srry.

me

uh huh yes

me

hope you get your fun

sexy, let's make love says:

wanna help mi anywae?

me

by?

sexy, let's make love says:

sex chat..

me

to you?

sexy, let's make love says:

wif me..

sexy, let's make love says:

or any frens 2 recommend..

me

what about the melvin person you intended to add?

sexy, let's make love says:

ya.. adding nw..

me

any success?

sexy, let's make love says:

no...nt accptd yet.

me

maybe he's offline

me

still searching for someone?

sexy, let's make love says:

k..

sexy, let's make love says:

ya..

sexy, let's make love says:

yz?

me

are you that hot girl in that picture?

sexy, let's make love says:

ya. hu r u?

sexy, let's make love says:

where r u from?

sexy, let's make love says:

s'p?

me

nope in a JC

me

how old are you?

sexy, let's make love says:

no ure from singapore i meant?

sexy, let's make love says:

im from sp.. 19

me

oh right, yeah based in singapore

sexy, let's make love says:

which jc r u frm

me

i'm an indonesian scholar

me

from NJC

sexy, let's make love says:

wads ur name.?

me

melvin wong

sexy, let's make love says:

so ure melvin?

me

one melvin, not the one you're looking for though

sexy, let's make love says:

oh..

sexy, let's make love says:

u want sex chat?

me

sure why not

me

could use a little destressing

sexy, let's make love says:

kewl.. melvin do u masturbate?

me

of course

me

twice everyday

me

till my balls get dry

sexy, let's make love says:

kewlz.. ure my kind of guy

sexy, let's make love says:

so u wanna start?

me

anytime you're ready

sexy, let's make love says:

sure.. u start by saying something..lets have cybersex k..

me

aren't you starting it?

me

this is my first time having cybersex with someone

sexy, let's make love says:

guys first?

sexy, let's make love says:

oh okie.

me

it's sexier if the girls takes charge

sexy, let's make love says:

you jus say out wad u think of doin kz

sexy, let's make love says:

so first we r on a bed

sexy, let's make love says:

i kiss u deeply and my tongue enters urmouth

sexy, let's make love says:

n i rub myself against u..feeling ur hardness

sexy, let's make love says:

massaging ur cock with my pussy.. dry fuck

sexy, let's make love says:

ur turn..

me

i continue kissing you

sexy, let's make love says:

r u masturbating now?

me

as my hands wander all over your neck and shoulders

me

and i start pinching your bum as you moan

sexy, let's make love says:

in real lyf

sexy, let's make love says:

i moan and my hands reach into ur boxers...

me

my hands move upwards and start to unbutton your blouse

me

i reach for your bra and tear it off

me

it makes a sound like a paper ripping

sexy, let's make love says:

i press my breasts against ur hard chest

sexy, let's make love says:

n i tug at ur boxers..

sexy, let's make love says:

pull it down

sexy, let's make love says:

r u masturbating in real lyk?

sexy, let's make love says:

lyf?

me

yes

me

taking it real slow

me

making it last longer

me

you're so hot

me

you set me on fire baby

me

i grab at your nipple and lower my head

me

sucking them and nibbling like a suckling pig

sexy, let's make love says:

my nipples arch up

sexy, let's make love says:

iam so turned on babie..

sexy, let's make love says:

fuck me please...

me

my hands reach lower and i tug at your jeans

me

but the belts in the way so i have to stop sucking

me

i pull away as my saliva makes a trail down your chest like the upper course of a river

me

meandering down your stomach

me

i undo you belt and fling it across the room

me

in the distance i hear a crash

me

but you're moaning so hard for me

sexy, let's make love says:

i take off my underwear for u babie

me

and i can see you're all wet

me

the glistening reflected in the light of the television

me

news of a child being named '4real' on it

me

as i start stroking you

me

you alright baby?

sexy, let's make love says:

im ok

sexy, let's make love says:

i dun get wad u mean by 4real

me

still masturbating?

sexy, let's make love says:

yes

me

sorry let me continue

sexy, let's make love says:

kz

me

you lie back on the bed, legs open

me

and i insert my middle finger into you

sexy, let's make love says:

i moan as my juices flow out onto ur finger

me

i remove my finger and stick it up your anus

sexy, let's make love says:

its tight babie..feel it..

me

i am baby

me

i remove my finger and grab a banana off the side table

me

and i slow slide it up your anus

sexy, let's make love says:

i moan in pleasure..

sexy, let's make love says:

and i beg for ur cock insead..

me

i reach over and take the remote control of the tv

me

i must deny myself this pleasure

me

it makes me feel better

me

i rub the control over you, wetting them

me

then i slowly slide it up you

sexy, let's make love says:

i moan in pleasure and beg u to put e real thing in me

sexy, let's make love says:

i want to cum

me

instead i start moving the remote in and out slowly

me

and channels on the tv change

me

i started to thrust it in faster and faster

-----

After that she stopped responding. Guess i'm a bad online lover.

Happy 500th post ^_^

Part 11 - Joseph

Okay yes, long totally overdue post.

As always this guy started sending me random messages through friendster, and since I didn't really check my account often, communication was sparse.

Before you kill me for 1) not posting in gazoinks 2) not further screwing with this guy, let it be known that my school during school term is literally killer, I have little time to spare for Anna-ness which eats up quite a bit of time on my part.

So here we go! The bad spelling Joseph.

Joseph confesses to be ugly, but since he was gracious enough to spare us the agony of looking at this so called 'ugly' face by not uploading a picture to Friendster.

He manages to beat our dear 'investment banker' friend, Mark from the previous post. He is also mind bogglingly incomprehensible. All I get is that 1) he's ugly, 2) he's old 3) his command of English is bad.

So anyway this was the first message he sent to me (as always it's a screencap of me replying to him, his message is below).


Oh yes, please do give your number out randomly (And on another note as safe as Facebook seems please do not EVER post your handphone number and home address there - you're asking for trouble) to strangers. Also: where was it stated on my profile that I gave out free magazines to people? Oh you've quite read me wrong.

And after about a month plus when I finally checked Anna again, I found this waiting for me:


Oh hmm. I forgot to erase the number out of that. No matter, don't suppose anyone who reads this is idiotic enough to even call him. One thing good though, he never gives up does he? Always optimistic that I'll text him or some other form of rubbish.

After this it ends, I guess looking back around the August period I was going through a rough patch and didn't have the patience to keep this up much longer. Aha.

Introduction

'Anna' was originally set up to play a prank on a particularly annoying pest called Eamon in 2006, hoping to put an end to his bull shit.

However he never took the bait.

Instead what I found awaiting me was other guys who sent 'Anna' desperate messages, trying to pick her up. Instead of being an mischievous pointless project, 'Anna' slowly evolved into a public education/shaming project, amusing aspects thrown in free of charge, of the desperate/creepy/disturbing people to be found in Friendster (and I will possibly add to this selection when I have more time, Myspace, Facebook and Hot or Not to go!)

Lest I be accused of being unethical, let me state clearly that anything, even my own blog, on the internet is considered public and can be used freely by other people. I even go one step further by not contacting anyone at all. 'Anna' is run passively and responds to people who message her, I do not actively seek out victims.

This blog has no schedule for updating as it is only updated when people message 'Anna'.

Part 10 - Porn Spam

Hello! This may very well be one of the most disturbing Anna posts ever, don't say you weren't warned.

-----

Yesterday night I received a message from... a female! Yes I know, I was quite disturbed when I saw it. I thought it might be some despo lesbian trying to pick me up, though to be fair the girl in the picture looked fairly 'hot'.

Then I opened the message:

"Oh, it's some spam."

Then I clicked on the website given, and her profile. I saw the profile first and it looked like a fairly legitimate profile, nothing about it seemed to be the front of a fake account promoting the other website.

Of course there was the token plug for that website:


Everything seemed fine and dandy. I think. Then I went to the link provided.

Oh me eyes me eyes! THEY BURN. For decency's sake and the sanity of everyone who read this, I have very nicely drawn bikini tops and bottoms on the offending body parts in the screenshot I have taken of the website:


Yes. I have been asked to go for a videocam community which specialises in nude females. WTF. To make things worse, my age is stated as '17' on the profile. What the hell. Spam or not, this is highly disturbing. If it isn't spam someone out there thinks I'll look good nude, if it's not then young girls are probably viewing the website and might get influenced. Now I am not some high and mighty morality person, but DUDE COME ON!

Anyway I sent this reply to 'Jessie':
'Hey, I'd love to join, unfortunately I believe the minimum age to join is 18. I am 17. If there's no age restriction, I'd love to join!'

I would really like the see the reply from this one.

Nightmare inducing.

Part 9 - Mark

Hello! I am back again. After a hiatus of a few months, I checked my Friendster account again, and I found 2 lovely messages sitting in my inbox ^_^



To save space, my delightful reply is listed there.

Of course as usual, I went to check out his profile to see what kind of creep e-mails little 16 year old girls with delightful requests as mentioned above ^_^



WOW! 31 years old and in a 'Domestic Partnership'. With what? His hair? It certainly looks alive judging by the different ways it settles upon his pate, in no way making him look any less creepier than the paedophile shit that he is. And oh my! It looks like a bathroom in the background... could it be...? It's MYSPACE MAN! (nevermind if you don't get it).



Whoah. The 'Investment Bankers' Association of Singapore'. OMG THAT IS SO HOT AND SEXY! I WANT YOUR BABIES... NOT. Coupled with the hair style and your methods of trying to pick up people, you are such a winner ^_^

Granted all investment bankers work long hours and are under insane amount of stress and pressure, hence the need to find a mate online? But I AM 16! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Go Zouk or something, seems like the music you like is similar to the music being played in such nightspots.

Of course the kicker came when I read this off his profile, blown up to be read easier:


MONEY! HOLY SHIT HE'S NOT ONLY A WINNER, BUT HE'S A MATERIALISTIC WINNER! Normally if people want to be materialistic and all, fine, whatever floats your boat, but not when the girl you try to 'get to know better' has clearly stated on her profile:


What is wrong with your eyes? You have 4 of them judging by the pictures. You could have an IQ of 199 and I'd still think you are stupider than a mentally addled goat.

Anyway his reply to my message was the first sign of intelligence I have observed from this... thing.



Indeed! And my reply: "Yes, I am truly sorry to not have made your fine acquaintance. Good luck finding another 'most beautifull girl that (you've) seen in your life'."

And so ends my short but sweet correspondence with this man.

In a final twist of irony the original target of my existence did visit someone's Friendster account... Melodie's. Not mine, at all! HAHAHAHA.


He didn't take the bait at all, but I still think he's a great waste of space. *Shrugs*

-----

And yes, I am aware I didn't erase all the parts of creepy shit's name. My bad.

Part 8 - AZN Freak

Today I finally decided to end off things with AZN fetish, but of course keeping on par with how damn weird he is, the convo was weird too -_______-

I'm not even sure what to make of it!

-----
Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.

anna; says:
hello, you there?

lovin u says:
yup

anna; says:
so you're really planning to come over to Singapore to marry me?

lovin u says:
hehe

lovin u says:
of course

anna; says:
hahaha

anna; says:
did you ever think that this whole thing might not be what it really seems?

lovin u says:
yup

anna; says:
hahaha

anna; says:
then what would it be?

lovin u says:
wat u dont wanna marry me??

anna; says:
ahahaha

anna; says:
anyway are you feeling better?

lovin u says:
no i went hospital

anna; says:
really?

anna; says:
oh gosh, when?

lovin u says:
today

anna; says:
oh

anna; says:
and you're back home now?

lovin u says:
yup

anna; says:
okay

anna; says:
shouldn't you be resting then? like sleeping?

lovin u says:
yup

lovin u says:
sleep i cant the drugs keep u awake

anna; says:
oh okay

anna; says:
you're still sick then?

lovin u says:
yup

anna; says:
okay

anna; says:
um.

anna; says:
are you for real?

lovin u says:
yup

anna; says:
asian girls and all that?

anna; says:
+ all the girls on your friendster being

anna; says:
'asian'

lovin u says:
yup

anna; says:
ahahaha

anna; says:
don't you think i'm a little to weird to be real?

anna; says:
especially the last conversation we had

lovin u says:
no ur jus funny

anna; says:
LOL

anna; says:
hahaha really?

anna; says:
you don't even think i have some sort of mental disability?

lovin u says:
no

anna; says:
really?

anna; says:
that's nice of you

anna; says:
so you still want to marry me after everything?

lovin u says:
maybe we will see

anna; says:
okay

anna; says:
that has made me sad

lovin u says:
why

anna; says:
because you don't want to marry me

anna; says:
that and you seem to be very stupid.

lovin u says:
i said i probably do

lovin u says:
not sure

anna; says:
-.-

anna; says:
okay let me put it in the simplest words: anna is a fake

anna; says:
anna does not exist

lovin u says:
ok

lovin u says:
ok

lovin u says:
lol

lovin u says:
funny

anna; says:
and you my friend, have been the source of a lot of amusement for many people

anna; says:
get it?

lovin u says:
u think i was serious

lovin u says:
i have a gf u know

anna; says:
hahaha you said you were single

lovin u says:
i lied

anna; says:
ah that's nice

anna; says:
do you talk to every single girl on your list or something?

lovin u says:
yup

lovin u says:
not really most

anna; says:
okay

anna; says:
you angry now or something?

lovin u says:
so wats ur real name??

anna; says:
not telling you

anna; says:
that was a fake account i set up

anna; says:
originally it was to trick someone i knew

anna; says:
but then people started to contact it

anna; says:
sorry was d/ced

-----

Talk about an anti-climax! Anyway I'll delete him off the Anna list. Adieu AZN fetish! The amusement you provide will be sorely missed.

Part 7 - AZN Freak

Hello, I am back ^_^

There has been some 19 year old guy expressing interest in me, but I don't think I'll follow up on him since he seems just despo, not exceptionally creepy/weird/amusing.

Anyway back to everyone's favourite guy: AZN FREAK!

Today I was at my friend's house when I decided to log on, and our dear friend was online. So I started talking to him with everyone else around and got him to turn on the web cam. Unfortunately my friend had a virus on her com or something, so the com shut down suddenly mid convo and the convo was lost! ARGH.

Anyway I turned it back on again and people like Stephanie and Anthea took turns talking to him. I only talked to him in the beginning and the end. Anyway this convo log was made possible thanks to Stephanie since our good friend has a weird penchant for irritating emoticons which replace letters like "oo", "w", "he" and many others. Most perplexing was the "bi" one which was a sheep waving?!?! So Stephanie helped me de-code the damned thing.

Also disturbingly he had this really creepy smile, too bad I forgot to take a screen shot of it. He smiled pretty often too at the things 'I' said.

Get mentally prepared for a really long convo.



-----

Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.

anna; says:
hi, sorry

anna; says:
had to go off suddenly

lovin u says:
yea

anna; says:
hey can i see your friendster account again?

anna; says:
i need to check something

anna; says:
to verfiy with the singapore government

lovin u says:
ok its xxxxxxxxxxxxx@optusnet.com.au

lovin u says:
verify what

anna; says:
that you want to marry me

anna; says:
remember?

lovin u says:
yer why u need to verify with governnt

anna; says:
yup

lovin u says:
ok cool go ahead

anna; says:
yup

anna; says:
hey can you start the webcam again?

anna; says:
i really want to see you ^___^

lovin u says:
so when we gonna marry

lovin u says:
why im ugly

lovin u is inviting you to start viewing webcam. Do you want to Accept (Alt+C) or Decline (Alt+D) the invitation?

You have accepted the invitation to start viewing webcam.

anna; says:
no you're not (I think Steph started from here)

anna; says:
you're very hot

anna; says:
asap!

anna; says:
i need the money (in the previous convo I had said that if I married a white guy, the government would give me $100,000)

anna; says:
yup and the church of scientology will be very happy

anna; says:
to hear about our marriage

lovin u says:
where abouts

anna; says:
in Singapore of course

anna; says:
the government will be very happy to have more white men

lovin u says:
ok im not ur religion hto

lovin u says:
why not hear

anna; says:
because i'm in Singapore

lovin u has stopped viewing webcam with you.

lovin u says:
got d/c sry

lovin u says:
im back

lovin u is inviting you to start viewing webcam. Do you want to Accept (Alt+C) or Decline (Alt+D) the invitation?

You have accepted the invitation to start viewing webcam.

anna; says:
it's okay

lovin u says:
so what about ur parents what will they think of marriage

anna; says:
they are very good mormons

anna; says:
they want me to reproduce to have many kids

lovin u says:
(probably the weird laughing smiley)

lovin u says:
yea do they like white guy

anna; says:
of course

lovin u says:
ok

anna; says:
as long as he's fertile

anna; says:
(the wink emoticon I think)

lovin u says:
(laughing smiley)

anna; says:
that is so cute ^_^

anna; says:
you look hot when you smile like that

lovin u says:
(probably laughing emoticon)

lovin u says:
did u tell ur parents about me

anna; says:
yes

anna; says:
they want to know every single detail of my life

lovin u says:
what they say

lovin u says:
do u have any siblings

anna; says:
they said it's very good that i found a mate

anna; says:
yes

anna; says:
they have already reproduced with their mates

lovin u says:
ha all of them

anna; says:
yes

anna; says:
i am the youngest

lovin u says:
sisters or brothers

lovin u says:
all in singapore

anna; says:
yes i have sisters and brothers

anna; says:
they are all over the world

anna; says:
they have colonized rapidly

lovin u says:
how many

anna; says:
11

anna; says:
hundred

lovin u says:
holy pooooooooooo

lovin u says:
thats a lot

anna; says:
yeah

anna; says:
we're like the old woman who lived in a shoe

anna; says:
she had a lot of kids

lovin u says:
yea

anna; says:
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth,
Without any bread,
Whipped them all soundly, and sent them to bed.

anna; says:
http://www.bookmakersltd.com/art/bishop_art/BISHOPshoe.jpg

lovin u says:
yea i know

lovin u has stopped viewing webcam with you.

lovin u says:
u stop web cam

anna; says:
huh???

anna; says:
i didnt

anna; says:
---> can't remember

lovin u is inviting you to start viewing webcam. Do you want to Accept (Alt+C) or Decline (Alt+D) the invitation?

anna; says:
i want to see you

You have accepted the invitation to start viewing webcam.

anna; says:
what are you up to?

lovin u says:
nothin

anna; says:
---> can't remember

lovin u says:
i feel so sick

anna; says:
why?

lovin u says:
really bad cold

anna; says:
aww

lovin u says:
come here look after me

anna; says:
i wish i could

anna; says:
but you're so far away

lovin u says:
my lou po

anna; says:
i lurbe euuuxchz

anna; says:
my lao gong

lovin u says:
get it lou po

lovin u says:
(some rubbish emoticon he had)

anna; says:
(heart emoticon)

anna; says:
(kiss emoticon?)

lovin u winks:
Play "Kiss"

anna; winks:
Play "Heart"

anna; says:
my hart go a-thumping for euux baby (I think Anthea started around here)

lovin u says:
euux

anna; says:
you, baby

anna; says:
euu = sexy way of saying 'you'

lovin u says:
why im ugly and sick

anna; says:
only the top elite in singapore can use that kind of language =)

anna; says:
i don't get it

anna; says:
i love you remember?

anna; says:
love surpasses all boundaries

anna; says:
sorry i meant 'lurbe' not 'love'

anna; says:
it's more elite that way

anna; says:
1337, you know?

lovin u says:
ok then if u love me

lovin u says:
god

lovin u says:
1337 i dont know

anna; says:
huh??

anna; says:
you dont know what that is?

lovin u says:
no

anna; says:
it's ok baby. 'cos lurbe transcends all obstacles

anna; says:
don't matta if you know 1337 or not

anna; says:
dat don't matta (Steph used some translator thing set to gangsta mode)

lovin u says:
what it mean

anna; says:
elite

lovin u says:
tell me plz

anna; says:
i love ya keep it real.

lovin u says:
ok

anna; says:
you're so silly and cute

lovin u says:
im not silly

anna; says:
euu are my only one, my efferythingx

lovin u says:
really

anna; says:
yeah

anna; says:
fo' sure

lovin u says:
ok im so cold and sick

anna; says:
do you need a hug?

anna; says:
or more?

anna; says:
my love for euu is as hot as the sun

lovin u says:
so when u gonna be 17

lovin u says:
yup i need a hug and kiss

anna; says:
don't tell me you can't feel it from there??????

anna; says:
i'm gonna be 17 next year

anna; says:
soon

anna; says:
then i'll be LEGAL

anna; says:
and you can come get me

anna; says:
legal in singapore, that is

lovin u says:
17 legal

lovin u says:
its 18 here

anna; says:
if you mate with a girl under 17 years old, the singapore government will catch you and put you in prison

anna; says:
you'll get arrested for statutory rape

lovin u says:
ok ok

lovin u says:
even if ur white

anna; says:
BUT if i givew in then it won't be rape anymore

anna; says:
oh but if you're white it doesnt matter

anna; says:
they'll relax the rules

anna; says:
because they love caucasians

lovin u says:
cool

lovin u says:
so wat date is ur birthday

anna; says:
january 4

lovin u says:
ohh soon

anna; says:
yep

anna; says:
aren't you excited?

anna; says:
i am

lovin u says:
30 days after mine

lovin u says:
yer

anna; says:
really?

anna; says:
when's your birthday?

lovin u says:
5th dec

anna; says:
happy belated birthday

anna; says:
too bad i missed it

anna; says:
i would have given you a present

lovin u says:
yer

anna; says:
who's that?

anna; says:
your boyfriend? (someone, probably his dad appeared in the webcam in the background)

anna; says:
i'm jealous

lovin u says:
i want a present

anna; says:
what present do you want?

lovin u says:
euux

anna; says:
euu need some lurbin'?

lovin u says:
huh

lovin u says:
huh

lovin u says:
h

anna; says:
what are you thinking of?

lovin u says:
you

anna; says:
that's so sweeeeeeet

lovin u says:
with those glasses (I think he has a fetish about glasses too!)

anna; says:
you're my little hunny bunny XD

lovin u says:
(some shitty emoticon)

anna; says:
i want a big, white, strong boyfriend just like you

You have just sent a Nudge!

lovin u says:
i feel so sickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

lovin u says:
im not big

anna; says:
i know... sick with LURBE right?

lovin u says:
no (when he said this, we all started to feel guilty so we wanted to end it)

lovin u has stopped viewing webcam with you.

anna; says:
don't worry, i'll be your remedy

anna; says:
go and rest babe

anna; says:
hey

lovin u is inviting you to start viewing webcam. Do you want to Accept (Alt+C) or Decline (Alt+D) the invitation?

You have accepted the invitation to start viewing webcam.

lovin u says:
well

anna; says:
hey, i think you should go rest

anna; says:
go to sleep

anna; says:
if you're not feeling well

anna; says:
=)

anna; says:
please? do it for me

anna; says:
i'll be thinking of you

lovin u says:
ok then

lovin u says:
i cant sleep with blocked nose

lovin u says:
i cant

anna; says:
take some medicine

lovin u says:
i did already

anna; says:
who's that girl? (someone was walking around in a black bra or something O.O)

lovin u says:
who

anna; says:
the person behind you just now?

lovin u says:
dad or brother

anna; says:
okay

anna; says:
can you please go sleep now?

lovin u says:
no

anna; says:
why?

anna; says:
you look pretty ill

lovin u says:
h ell (one of the uninterpretable lines)

anna; says:
yup

lovin u says:
so what else is there to talk about

anna; says:
im sorry

anna; says:
its dinner time

anna; says:
o have to go

anna; says:
i*

lovin u says:
ok cya

anna; says:
sleep soon!

lovin u says:
nar

lovin u says:
love(?) you

-----

I think I'll end it the next time I talk to him.